Hush Hush

The last time I worked in a call center I made a promise to myself I'd never do it again unless I had to. This month I broke my promise and went back to work in a real inbound customer service center answering email and taking calls for a large online retailer.

The great thing about the company is that they don't make or ship any products because they're all digital (e.g., eBooks, website access, software dowloads, etc.). What that means for the company is that nobody knows who we are. What it means for me is that I only ever have to deal with refunds and email. I get an email or a call for a refund and I give a refund and send an email. I get an email or a call for tech support and I send an email to tech support. Cake.

The shitty thing is, nobody knows who the company is, so we get lots of people calling in pissed. And every call center gets lots of people calling in stupid. And I'm not good at that. And I've forgotten how to be nice to stupid people. And I have never gotten desensitized to it. I worked with stupid people at every phone job I ever had before and it always amazes me.

Mostly, though, I've forgotten how to be quiet in a phone room. I talk loudly; I laugh loudly; I walk and move and type loudly. And worse thanall this, I have a sarcastic remark for every caller, every email and every fax that some dumbass graces me with, and not everyone wants to hear it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job and my company and my coworkers and it's past the two week mark and the job hasn't turned to shit. We played Pictionary in a meeting today for thirty minutes and my boss guessed 'speed suit', for chrissakes. I love the place. And I don't actually let the people get to me. Really I don't. But I do have a constant air of disapproving superiority. And, as with everything else, I'm loud about it.

So much so, that my team leader, who sits next to me, said to me today, "Lets try not to use all our words today, okay?"

Okay.

I can't wait until they move me to another seat. I hope I sit by Denzil. He's the only other rep on my team who bitches as much as me. We'll start a vastly superior club. A sarcastic and snobby, real-english-speaking, no-internet-scams club. We won't disband until...we get fired for being smug assholes.

God, I've missed me. Welcome me back.