Turn Off

I need to start losing weight again and stop thinking so much. Stop getting this knot in my stomach of fear and nausea whenever I think about even the remote possibility of getting involved with anyone. Stop even considering getting with someone. And I told someone that last night...

Actually we both kind of told each other at kind of exactly the same time. Apparently we both thought the other was getting a little too attached, which is interesting because I thought he was getting too close because he kept saying things like, "should we go public with our relationship?" and, "this is what love tastes like." He thought I was getting too famliar because I...well, did the exact same thing I always do. (I instigated kisses and sex of all kinds and lounged around his house naked, except for when I was wearing a leash. It's really that good.)

But we are both right. We've been spending too much time together. It's really not healthy, physically or monetarily. So I'm cutting back. Not cutting OFF, but I'm gonna stop thinking about it, now that the stuff is out there. I have a lover and that's it. We both know it and I can officially stop caring what he says about love and dating and all that shit. Well, I'm allowed to. I just hope I can, as I have a tendency to overthink without thinking about it.