Hindi

Apparently I'm going to start blogging in Hindi now.

Not really. I just think it's funny, 'cause of the fact that my white, middle-American filter said, "Why the fuck would anyone want to blog in Hindi? Are there that many Hindi bloggers out there? I mean really?" I'm such a wasp...

Anyway. Here's the fast and quick version, since I'm sick of talking about it.

Rebecca is the mother of a good friend of mine from high school. (And by good friend, I mean I wouldn't run the other way if I saw her walking towrd me on the street. Unless she was with her mom, but I'll explain that in a sec.) She's a hairdresser, so when she offered to give me a flapper bob for New Year's Eve, I was thrilled. And she raved about some boy, some 24 year old boy that she was sleeping with. When I went in for my appointment, she told me about how he stole her lingerie and a miniskirt and was an idiot and she had made out with a theatre designer much closer to her age and was very hungover (reassuring when you're getting your hair done, let me tell you).

Anyway, not 3 days later, I was hanging out in the bar and started a friendly conversation with Jake, the man sitting next to me, very cute, kinda funny, drinking a beer and about to go to the same concert I was going to go to. We went together and started hanging out every dayand sleeping together and my friends started calling him my boyfriend. Here's the weird thing. He is the twenty-four year old lover who stole the clothes. Rebecca said (to Jakein text form) "the cow says moo. do you like that? you make me sick" and later, my personal favorite, "how's the grand canyon?" She's 48 and she's less mature than my 16 year old sister. I pitied her more than anything else.

But then she came up to me one night wasted at the bar saying I needed to dump Jake, he was an asshole and the other night when he told me he was at home, he was really fucking her (and I quote, "no, Sam, really fucking me all night long." Classy). Anyway. I told her it was no biggie. I didn't care who Jake fucked, I knew he was an asshole, which is why I always referred to him as my lover and not my boyfriend. Although before Papa's best friend died, I was starting to get caught up in it.

And the woman has ignored me ever since, except for a drunken apology and a slur on Jake, who I still consider my friend, although I can't have sex with him any more, since it makes him act all weird and shit, which is a whole other story.

Anyway, well before I met Jake I had what I thought at the time was a one night stand with a guy I saw at the bar all the time. We became sorta friends in passing, and the one night stand has turned into a bonafide on-again-off-again stand of indeterminite length, which may have taken a bit of a hop into the dating realm last night, when he told me "maybe we should just date each other." Actually it went like this:

Me: (inane conversation, drunken giggling)

Him: (more inane conversation, funny laughter)

M: (laughing at his funny laughter)

H: Maybe we should just date each other.

M: (more inane conversation)

H: (mass inanity, how many times can we use that word?)

M: What do you mean "maybe we should just date each other"?(!)

H: We shouldn't talk about this like this tonight when we're drunk.

Exeunt, with flourish

The End. As in WoW! I don't know how I feel about it. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm scared and I hope it doesn't come up again. But I know if he doesn't bring it up, I'll have to. Becase I'm a talker througher and rational to a fault and I know that I need to weigh the options now, and if saying no to dating means never being with him again, I have to say yes...Does that mean I want to date him, or just that I don't want the good thing to end? Is that the same thing?