I'm Sorry

Hello. I feel bad about not updating in so long. Like Steve at The Sneeze, except slightly less annoying because I don't think there are hundreds of people who check my weblog every day to read something hilarious. Good thing, too. 'Cause I got nothin'.

I'm sitting at my mom's house and there's a guy over here who wants to date my mom. His name is Jeff and he's a doofus. That's pretty much the only word that fits. He thinks glue sticks were invented sometime this year. He doesn't understand "why the blacks always wear those big necklaces". He is laughing at a nature show about white water rapids in Idaho. Hello? We live in Idaho. What's more, this guy actually owns and drives a jet boat. Why is he watching...Oh, nevermind. It's not worth being condescending to someone who doesn't understand that you should type and spell check your cover letters when you apply for a job. It's also not worth being condescending to someone when they can't hear you. And he will basically never in a million years read this, so fuck it.

Anyway, yes, I am quite alive and very well. Just got a job with a major telecom company, about which I can say nothing, due to the fact that I'd then have to kill you and I don't really know how to kill someone. And I'm too lazy to look it up and too cheap to hire a hit man. It'd be a huge fucking mess.

I also bought some shit and had a few crushes on a few different guys. Same old stuff.

Also, the whole Spider thing happened, but I'm still not gonna talk about that yet. I'm still embarrassed and terrified about it.